goals, projects, dreams and desires.

Still losing weight. Slowly, but steadily. I'm back down my 8.5 pounds, and hope to hit 10 this week. I want to be 185 by the end of this month.

Made contact with an Atlanta Goth Meetup Group. The sound like a good group of people, and many costumers in the bunch. Of course, this means that I desperately want to do some costuming. Everyday costuming. Another thing to do.

One step at a time.

School starts in two weeks. I'm terrified.

Getting there. Getting old.

The great thing is that my weight is slowly getting under control. I'm averaging about 1/2 a pound per week, and though it's not fast, it's something. At least it's not going *up*.

The scary thing is that the fact of our aging is finally starting to become real to me. Just today I was looking at some current pictures of some dear friends of mine, friends of many years, and realized that they look *old*. Not old like grandma-old, but old like middle-aged old. There is a slight resemblance to the faces I remember (I haven't seen either of them in over a decade), but the shock factor is unmistakable.

I know the same thing is happening to me, and I'm not entirely comfortable with that fact. Never thought I'd have an issue with aging - and I'm not proud that I do. Maybe I would be having less of an issue if I knew I had taken better care of myself. Well, hopefully we can make up for a little lost time. I know I can never get my youth back, but I can at least feel good. Damn right that.

Good god, a current picture.

I honestly can't believe I am this big. This is not what I see when I look in the mirror. This picture was taken four days ago.

I know that I'm a big girl logically. You can't weigh nearly 200 pounds and *not* be big. But I truly thought I carried it better than this.

It's okay. It really is. It's more incentive to DO SOMETHING about it. And I am.

Love to you all,
Petunia

Reunion is over. Start again. Sister, niece and nephew. Old pictures.

Fantastic Townsend family reunion is over and done with and it was a blast. I did almost all of the cooking and everything, mine as well as others, came out amazingly. I love my family.

Back on track with Weight Watchers. I'd gained everything back, started to lose, then went stagnant during the reunion prep. I'm back on, plus today I've implemented a beginner bodyweight program. I'm horribly out of shape, can't even do the program as it's listed, but I've modified it to what I *can* do and will go from there.

My sister and her two kids are visiting and it's been wonderful. I don't know how she does it - her patience and tolerance are amazing. Maybe too amazing, but that's for her to decide.

Found some old pictures from college which is what triggered my return to the diet and exercise. I was beautiful! Though I know I'll never look that amazing again, I can at least look great for my current age. Wish I had known at the time what I really looked like - oh well. This time will be better.

Love to you all,
Petunia

Diet - not so much, but...

I haven't been following my Weight Watchers at all, and my weight is definitely reflective of it. I lost those eight pounds, then gained four, and have been holding steady ever since.

However, I am definitely on a health kick. I don't know what I ate about two weeks ago, but it turned me off of junk food for good! Granted, I still it *too much* food, but at least it's good food.

One step at a time.
P

Love. Peace. Spirit.

I'm sitting here at work watching "The World's Strictest Parents."

This isn't a show I would have chosen. In fact, I would have chosen to have no television on at all. But I have to admit, begrudgingly, that it's an excellent show. At least this episode is.

You know, I am not into the bible-thumping thing. I am not religious - at least in that organized type of way. And I'm having a very difficult time explaining what I want to say here...

I want to be a good person. I want to take care of myself, this gift that is my body and my life. I want to deserve all the wonderful people and things that are in my life. I want to put more emphasis on taking care of myself and my world.

Petunia

IT'S A CHALLENGE!

Whoohoo! My coworker just *challenged* me to lose 60 pounds.

Now I have to do it.

How exciting!
Petunia

Carrotmob.

This is an absolutely fantastic idea:

http://carrotmob.org/about/
http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1898728,00.html