Reflections and Resolutions

This has been one helluva year. Interestingly, it's only hitting me right now that it's over. Well, in 3 1/2 hours it will be over.

We've been through some rough shit this year. DH's father, five birds, Biko...all gone this year. Forcibly moving from our wonderful house to this little apartment. Yoshi getting sick.

But there have been some wonderful things as well. DH and his mother chat weekly - he's been reunited with her and it's reflecting in our own family. We gained a beautiful, hilarious new cat who is helping us grieve for Biko as well as bringing Yoshi even further out of her shell. We found an apartment with a small yard that doesn't mind all the animals. I went back to school and a found whole new career path that is actually doable. I truly fell in love with my husband. My husband agreed that it is about time to have a baby.

My demands on myself for this year are going to be good ones. Not lose weight or any of that. Those things are obvious. Instead, we're going to focus on fun things. For example, right now I'm baking crackers. I'm going to work on making more and more from scratch. I'm going to save up for a pressure canner so that I can make and bottle my homemade ketchup. I am going to learn how to pickle things - all kinds of things. And I *will* become at least somewhat competent in a language (Italian). Now that our library has the Rosetta Stone language courses online, I feel that it's honestly attainable.

So that's this years resolutions - play, play and play some more. What are yours?

Love to you all,
Petunia

Pouting Cat?

Yes, its been a little while since I've posted. It's been a rough week - DH and I have both been pretty ill, though with different things. He's trying to get over his bronchitis and I've had terrible nausea each evening.

No, I'm not pregnant.

Last night peaked out with me puking my guts out - something I haven't done since I lived in NYC. What an awful feeling. But I feel much better today, just drained. DH is working hard to take care of me and is trying to get back into work mode.

Ending the terrible year of 2006 with a bang, that's for sure. Heh.

So yes, a cat that pouts. I've never had a cat that pouts. Boy-cat is damn good at it too - he'll make you feel damn guilty that you're not paying attention to him.

The quilt is coming along nicely. I've got about 2/3 of the top completed. I'd hoped that it would be a full size quilt, but I seem to have dramatically miscalculated and it's only going to be a large lap quilt. That's really not such a bad thing. It is definitely looking very pretty.

Boy-cat is currently sprawled on my desk next to me with his head draped over my arm as I type. Absolutely adorable. Yoshi is curled up on her throne (one of my good chairs) on a nice warm blanket. They sure know how to live.

I made whole wheat crackers last night and they came out beautifully! Between the Cuisinart and the pasta machine, it's terribly easy. One of those simple and rewarding little projects. Combined with the Trader Joe's Mediterranean Hummus...YUM. Now to learn to make hummus that comes out as good as that...

A neighbor put a metal futon out by the dumpster yesterday. Whaddya know, but the bottom of that futon will make a terrific trellis. So of course I salvaged it (much to DH's chagrin) and it's now waiting for me in the back yard. As soon as I'm feeling a little better I'd better get to work on that space.

Tomorrow I'm going to JD's firehouse to talk to his coworker. He's trying to get me set up with an EMT job at the horse track. Sounds neat and supposedly the pay is quite good. Part time only, but I'm not adverse to that. If the pay is as good as JD says, part time will be plenty. I can pick up another part time EMT job to supplement. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

All my love, and happy new year!
Petunia

Tea and crumpets.

I have no idea why I titled this post that way - it just sounded nice.

We're heading up to Petaluma in about an hour to have a crab dinner at M & N's. It's always something we look forward to. We managed to make some biscotti for N, but didn't have a chance to chocolate coat them. Hopefully she won't be too disappointed. We'll just have to bring her another "proper" batch.

I'm absolutely delighted at how much DH adores boy-cat. They play and wrestle constantly. DH is always carrying him around and cuddling with him. It's so suprising - he's always been very resistant to cats. The thing is, all he's familiar with are barn cats. Yoshi is more like a barn cat. Boy-cat, however, is what *I* think of as a cat. He's just a trip.

We've been listening to the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage radio station almost exclusively these days. What a great station! The last few days have been New Orleans style christmas music, including a Creole Christmas show this morning. Some of the songs were things like "Budrow Got Run Over by a Mud Boat" and "Crawfish in a Fig Tree." The station can be found here: http://www.wwoz.org/ Obviously, we're listing to it over the internet.

DH is currently perusing a catalog from Beer, Beer and More Beer! which is a terrific local brewing supply store. He's interested in the beers, meads and ales, and I'm interested in non-grape wines. There are several great fruit wine recipes online. The funny part about all of this is that he really only drinks wine (beer very occasionally) and I really don't drink at all, though I do enjoy a good cocktail now and again. But the brewing looks like a heckuva lot of fun.

Well, I hope everyone is having a lovely christmas eve. It's another beautiful day.

All my love,
Petunia

Such a nice day!

Today has been just lovely. DH and I slept a little late, but not as late as we had been. While he was out doing errands, I did laundry and worked on my quilt. So far I've got the strips completely sewn and pressed. Tomorrow I'll cut the blocks.

Also got the spaghetti made and it smells absolutely yummy. We're looking forward to having it for lunch. It's hard to believe how many people buy spaghetti sauce in jars...thank god for Mom teaching me so long ago.

I got more garlic put out in the yard. The first batch has slowed way down, but we are also finally getting into winter and the weather has chilled dramatically. I just hope things don't rot. The soil is quite friable so I'm not terribly worried.

Nothing much else to report. Mom's heading down to be with Shana and family today. I'm terribly envious.

Oh! We've had three earthquakes over the last few days, including one last night and one this morning. They're small - about 3.0 - but they're only a few miles away. And they're all in the *exact* same location, and vary only a little bit in depth. DH is completely wigged over it - I'm finding it kind of comical. They say that many small quakes are a good thing. Well, here's to hoping! You can track the earthquake activity here: US Geological Society

Well, I suppose that's it. I hope everyone is having as nice of a day as I am.

All my love,
Petunia

I hate this.

We're broke again.

You know, I really try to keep my head up. I try desperately to look on the bright side, to keep looking at the future, at what's coming, and at how lucky we are for everything we have.

But this is just getting really, really old.

I'm sure it's going to work out. It always does. But that's part of the problem - we keep getting rescued just in time, and while I'm eternally thankful for it, it doesn't help DH.

I'm only working two shifts next week. If I'm lucky, Doc will let me off and I'll be able to work the entire 8 hours. If not, it'll just be 6 hour shifts. We simply cannot survive with that.

Not sure what I'm going to do.

All my love,
Petunia

Okay, now what?

Everything is done - I've finished my class, and I've finished my national registry exam (which went very well, by the way. I'll be *very* suprised if I didn't pass). I need to take my ambulance drivers test which shouldn't be much of an issue. And then I get to apply for jobs.

I'm terribly excited, and more than ready to move on. But I still have about a month before I get my results and in the meantime I have to keep myself occupied.

Of course, keeping occupied has never been a problem for me. I've got so many projects - it's more a matter of which one? So what do I do, but start two more. UGH. I'll never learn. But you know what? I don't really mind.

I've got two quilt projects started. One is a recycled denim rag quilt, but I can't work on it any more until I get some more old jeans to cut up. So it's tucked away neatly in a bag.

The other quilt project is my first "real" quilt. It's a basic rail fence pattern, but I picked some pretty fabrics and I think it will look really nice. I've cut the strips, and tomorrow I'll probably start stitching them. One day at a time, right? And with any luck, my coworkers will bring me some more old jeans.

WHOOPS! I was just at the fabric store and I forgot to get flannel to line the back of the rag quilt. Oh well. I guess that means I'll have to go again. Boohoo. >wink<

We're brokebrokebroke and I really have no right to be working on these projects. I don't know if it's my medicine or me, but I'm having a hard time caring these days. I'm not spending like crazy, but I guess I kind of want DH to suffer a little. I'm the budgeter of the family, and have been the main wage-earner for some time now (except these last few weeks with my injury). I'm tired. I just want to make my home pretty.

I wish ya'll could see this cat. He's downright hilarious. Right now he's entertaining himself with a receipt (his favorite toy). We draped an afghan over the edge of a chair. Yoshi curls up on the chair, and boy-cat drops a receipt on one side of the afghan fringe, runs around to the other side (under the chair), then attacks the receipt through the fringe. He'll do this for HOURS.

He's Yoshi's polar opposite. What a pair.

My love to you all,
Petunia

Missed a few days....

...just focusing on my studying.

Okay, well, that's a lie. I haven't studied much at all. I've been cooking, crocheting, planning my next batch of projects, and on and on...but I haven't really been studying. A little, but not much.

I'm no nervous, though. I guess I figure that if I know it, I know it. If I don't, then I'll have a better idea of what to study for the next test. We'll see how it goes. I head to the BART station in about 40 minutes.

I've decided that I'm going to take a week or two off, just working my three days per week, but then I'll have to see if I can up it to five. We're incredibly broke - it's terribly uncomfortable - but I just need a break. We'll see if I can stand it.

Been doing more research on organic clothing and natural home stuff, and it's really amazing how limited it is out there. It all hits either the hippie market or the minimalist market. What about the me market? Those of us who are eclectic, historical, and nowhere near minimalist? Just something to think about.

Wish me luck,
Petunia

Weigh in...

Not so good. Holiday slacking caught up to me. No worries - back on it.

Week 3, day 1
HW: 196/CW: 193 (-3)/GW: 145
FP: 2/33

Menu:
Oatmeal with apple and banana and 1 tbsp brown sugar (1)
Skim milk

FF/SF hot cocoa with skim milk and light whipped cream (1)

Pippin apple

Lemon-garlic whole wheat noodles with salmon and carrot greens
(my noodles came out WONDERFULLY, by the way)

Not sure what else at this point...

Love to you all,
Petunia

I miss Dad.

Happy Hannukah!

Tonight is the first night of Hannukah. Happy H-day to everyone!

I'd started Nigella Lawson's Clementine Cake yesterday, but just got around to finishing it. Unfortunately, I only had four eggs, so we'll see if it holds up. Smells wonderful, and the batter tastes like candied orange peels. Yum...

Finally got a haircut today, and went ahead and had the brows done too. It feels *so* good. And I think I found an amazing hairdresser and salon. It's Salon Epiffani in downtown Concord, and one of the owners, Petra, was the one who did my hair and brows. I'm very, very pleased, and it makes me feel a million times better about myself. Why is that such a hard lesson for me to learn? Well, I was proactive this time and made an appointment for maintenance in a few weeks. That's a good thing.

Well, back to studying.

Love to you all,
Petunia

studystudystudy

Today's duties:

Yoga
Study
Feed birds
Study
Buy more oatmeal and brown rice
Study
Pick DH up from BART
Study

Oh, and study.

All my love,
Petunia

Ugh...that was gross.

I've been eating so well the past two weeks, and tonight I splurged a little. Not much, but more than I have in a while. And boy do I feel GROSS. Absolutely disgusting. I haven't been nauseous in years, and here it is. Oh, do I NOT like it.

And I'm praying that it doesn't screw up my weight loss for the week. But whatever - there's nothing I can do about it now.

Honestly, I'm rather glad that the food has affected me that way. I've got to remember how awful this feels and make sure I don't do it again.

Found a fabulous link. It's a real-time live web camera at a natural watering hole in South Africa. Wonderful sounds, too.

All my love,
Petunia

beauty and waste

Massive duck die off
Extinction of the White Dolphin
Reuters 2006 Photos of the Year

What a world we live in. Untold numbers of horrors and ugliness combined with wanton waste and incomprehendable consequences shown right next to a few shots of beauty and serenity and no one even blinks.

I'm having a hard time with this today. It's hard not to feel hopeless, helpless. I just keep chanting Mom's words to myself: Keep your corner clean. After all, it's all we can do.

I just came back from the DMV office to get my Ambulance Drivers Handbook. What a reminder of what life could be like. I can't even comprehend being stuck in a cubcle like that with an endless stream of miserable people making you even more miserable. To think that I had spent so many years on that path. Granted, I was in a "nice office" but oh my god...

At school yesterday we were discussing "progress." It's difficult to describe my feelings about this to most people. My basic belief is that we need to move backwards a bit, not forward. People, of course, take me fully and literally, thinking that I'm referring to medicine, women's rights, yadda yadda. Of course that's not what I mean. I'm referring to personal responsibility, community, accountability and family. I mean Slow Food (www.slowfood.org) and sustainable living. I mean caring for our families and our belongings. I mean cherishing that which is handcrafted and sincere.

We have all the knowledge - we know what needs to be done and how to do it. Why is it so difficult?

Well, I've vented enough. Now it's time to move on and continue on my own path, keeping my own corner clean. It's all I can do...hopefully it's enough.

All my love,
Petunia

Caramel Spritz...

Caramel spritz

2 ¼ c. all purpose flour
¼ tsp. Salt
1 c. unsalted butter
½ c. dark brown sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Cream butter, sugar, egg and vanilla.
Add salt and mix thoroughly. Add flour and mix until well moistened.

Push through cookie press onto UNGREASED baking pan. Bake at 400 degrees F for 8 minutes until firm but not browned.

Lemon spritz...

Lemon Spritz Cookies

INGREDIENTS:

1 1/2 sticks butter, softened
1 whole egg
Juice from 1 lemon
Zest from 1 lemon
2 1/4 cups unbleached flour
1 cup powdered sugar, sifted
1/4 salt
Colored sugar sprinkles

PREPARATION:
Preheat oven to 350°. Beat butter, juice, zest and egg until creamy. Beat in salt, sugar and flour. Dough should be soft. Pack into cookie press with selected pattern. Press onto UNGREASED baking sheet. Top with sprinkles. Bake 8 minutes until firm but not browned.

LOOFAH!!!

The loofa seeds arrived! I'm *so* excited - I can't even begin to express it. I have no idea if they're going to grow in my little yard, but I'm sure as heck going to try. And I'm sure Jim will let me grow some in his yard. OOOOOH! I'm downright giddy.

Slow food...

I put away several of my other projects yesterday to try to organize things a bit. The crocheting hasn't been so good, so that was the first to go. All the fabric I've been collecting for the rag quilt is neatly packed away, waiting for me to have time to focus.

And out came the pasta maker! For some reason I've had the drive make whole wheat pasta, so of course, that's what I did last night. Here's a pic of our cramped little space full of flour. All that's missing is a glass of wine:



After making the pasta (which we'll cook tonight with some lemon glazed chicken or something of that sort) I figured what the heck, I'll make some gingerbread spritz cookies. They didn't turn out so well, but they look pretty. I'm about to make some lemon spritz now - hopefully they'll work a little better.

What else...oh, I just pulled an angel food cake out of the oven for our graduation thing today. I don't have quite enough time to make the clementine cake I'd anticipated, but hey, I can't do everything, now can I?

Well, enough babbling. I hope everyone has a beautiful day -

Love to you all,
Petunia

Oh...my...god...

This is *not* a joke. Amazing as it is, it's not a joke. This guy actually believes this shit.

http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53327

Wow.

All my love,
Petunia

A shopping trip...

...very different from my past ones.

I hate shopping. Rather, I hate shopping for clothes. For me. But something was different this time.

I look terrible. I have no clothes - my shopping outfit was a pair of pygama pants and a TJ's sweatshirt. I'm heavier than ever before - I can feel the rolls on my back when I walk.

But I wasn't depressed this time. And I didn't get depressed. Yes, I wonder how DH can have any desire for me at all, and yes, I was far, far from proud of myself. But maybe its because I'm in the mindset now of doing something about it. I don't feel helpless - I feel in control. I feel like things are changing.

I'm actually intrigued with watching the changes that will be taking place with my body, as well as with my energy levels and emotions. In the 3-way mirrors at the store today, I inspected myself closely from every angle, trying to memorize the way I look and feel. I'm going to continue to take stock this way and see where it leads me. It's exciting, actually.



All my love,
Petunia

The yard is covered...

...with hungry, hungry birds! I can't even begin to describe how many birds are out there right now. Let's see...seven doves, uncountable numbers of goldfinches, several house finches, I think those are some fox sparrows...all in our little tiny apartment "yard." They make me happy. I've taken a picture, but I don't know if it will even come close to reflecting the beautiful chaos out there. And I think that boy-cat is going to give himself a heart attack watching them...

Slept until 11:45 this morning. DH said I looked so exhausted that he couldn't bear to wake me. Considering that this is the first morning that I don't remember my dreams, I guess I slept pretty well. The past week has been full of terribly violent dreams.

Speaking of chaos, today's the day to work on getting my house out of it. In case I haven't already said it, "CHAOS" stands for Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome" according to flylady.com. What's Flylady? Well, you should check it out. It works.

Feeling quite a bit of anxiety today. Tomorrow we're supposed to go to class for our "graduation" pot luck and we don't have to wear a uniform. Unbelievably, I'm completely stressed out over that. I have *no* clothes - rather, none that fit - and since I'm always either in a TJ's uniform or a school uniform, well, I have absolutely no clue what I can wear tomorrow. I'm not even worried if it's cute or not - I just need something to put on my more than ample body that isn't a uniform. I'm so thankful that I'm finally doing something about the weight, I just don't know what to do in the meantime!

Update on the garden - it's growing! The plants simply love the rain water. The garlic is just sprouting like mad, and I'm hoping to get my hands on some more cloves to sprout. The lettuce and spinach has finally decided that maybe now is an okay time to grow, so hopefully we'll get to use it soon. Once it dries out a bit I need to get those boxes built and we'll be in good shape. Very exciting.

All my love,
Petunia

WHEEEEHOO!

Done! It's done! I've passed the EMT class and I'm done!

Well, sort of. On the 19th I'm taking the national registry exam, and assuming I do okay with that, then I'll officially be an EMT. And with any luck I can get a position with AMR and we'll be good to go for a while.

I can't even begin to describe the relief I'm feeling right now. I was absolutely petrified - sick to my stomach. I don't know why - I know the information, it's just that damn word..."test"...or as B put it, "Examination." I just hate those words. But that just doesn't matter now. One step done, the next one to take.

Nothing more of interest tonight. I've crocheted a couple more hats, but made them much too small. They're cute though - they'll look good on a teenager.

Did fine with my intake today:

Oatmeal with banana and apple and a tbsp. brown sugar
1 whole egg + 2 egg whites with ketchup
2 cookies (those were for my nerves!)
Skim milk FF hot cocoa

And now I'm trying to come up with something healthy and hearty for dinner. It's time to plan a menu again, so the options are pretty slim. But it's fine - maybe I'll roast some veggies to have with the smoked turkey in there...hmm.

Edited note: Dinner ended up being delicious. I made my "famous" israeli couscous salad with chopped smoked turkey, with roasted delicata squash and carrots on the side. Oh so good...

Thanks for all of your support, and all my love,
Petunia

Oh, and the garden!

The garden is of course in it's winter rut with raking to be done and projects to be completed.

BUT! About a month ago a head of garlic from the farmers market started to sprout. What the heck - let's stick it in the dirt.

So here's what my overturned bookcase looks like right now. On one side is rosemary, sage and lavender (with some brocolli trying to figure out if it's going to grow or not). On the other is lettuce and spinach, also trying to figure out if its time to grow, and between those are nine beautiful sprouts of garlic!

I love my sister!

Had a wonderful talk with my sister yesterday. She sounds so happy! And I count my blessings that I have such a wonderful woman to talk to about this baby stuff. She made me feel just a *million* times better. I am truly blessed, in so many ways.

Not much to report today. Last night I made a holiday dinner for my coworkers - turkey with stuffing, green beans with garlic oil and fried onions, corn on the cobb, and banana bread. Of course, everything started with some type of pre-prepared ingredients - I was at work after all and had to take any number of short cuts. But I felt like Sandra Lee - "Semi-homemade with Trader Joe's and Nathan Strange!" It was fun, but it sure took it out of me. And my coworkers loved it. Maybe that's one reason I like to cook for people so much - it's one way I can truly make people happy. I'm very lucky that I work somewhere that I can do things like that.

My shoulder is feeling much, much better. As much as I didn't want that steroid shot, it really has made a difference.

DH is madly in love with boy-cat! It's a beautiful thing. They just play all day and all evening. He really is a special boy. Here's a pic of us cuddling.

Well, that's about it - at least for now.

Love to you all,
Petunia

Success!

4.5 pounds down this week. What a beautiful, beautiful thing! I think we've got the secret - at least for right now, until my body hits a plateau. Basically, we have oatmeal with fruit for breakfast. Whatever meal I'm home for, we have a nice Core-plan dinner together. Together being the key word! Anything else throughout the day is snacky...I eat core foods when I'm hungry. I'm also allowing myself to cheat a *little* here and there, and I do think that it's actually helping the situation.

Now of course, if I stop loosing or worse, start gaining again, we'll have to re-evaluate the little cheats.

But right now I'm just thankful, thankful, thankful that things are moving in the right direction.

Last night I was absolutely revved - I don't know if it was the cortizone shot the doc put in my shoulder in the morning, or what, but I just couldn't stay focused. I was *everywhere*. So I forced myself to sit down, pick up a crochet hook, and get to work on something that should be short and easy. And what do you know - it was - and it came out just adorable! Here's the pattern: http://cache.lionbrand.com/patterns/chs-cape.html?noImages= Lion Brand yarn has so many cute free patterns...I'm often in the middle of several.

One thing that was nice is that while I was cleaning my yarns, I inspected the squares for the spring afghan that I've been working on. The good news is that I still just love it. Its from another free pattern, this one from Caron yarns: http://www.caron.com/projects/pm/rosetrellis_af.html I'm making this one with purple flowers though - it really looks nice.

And now I'm off to find a quick and easy scarf pattern to make to go with my little cloche...oh, so much to do! And somehow I have to find time to STUDY!

Isn't life beautiful?

Anyway, that's it. And here's my stats:

Week 2, day 1
HW: 196/CW: 191.5 (-4.5)/GW: 145
FP: 35/35

Love to you all,
Petunia

Exam #2...

...went beautifully. I have a 97.3 average in the class, second place. The kid who has the top score has a 97.7 - hardly anything at all. And he's a neat guy - we've had a friendly competition all along. No issues with being second to him. And if we hadn't lost Biko, well, I would have done even better. That's fair.

It was such a relief to be done with that. All I wanted to do was come home and clean, and, well, that's just what I did. I have lot more to do of course, but the place is presentable now.

DH is feeling much better tonight. He's still a bit sick, but he is just a million times improved.

JdR and I are going to start our blocks tomorrow. Hopefully we'll make some progress - it all depends on if he managed to clean his garage up a bit. Right now there's simply no way to get to the tools.

As I was taking out the trash this evening, there was a stack of fence boards next to the dumpster! Looks like they replaced someone's fence and whaddya know, perfect boards for my planter boxes, free and waiting. It was dark when I found them, so I pulled several out, but tomorrow morning I'll have to go back and see if any others are salvageable. I'm pretty sure I have enough to do my boxes! Now to see if JdR has a skilsaw I can borrow...

All my love,
Petunia

Falconry...

...is such a part of me, but I understand that this is not the time to practice it. I *may* go ahead and get a redtail to train just for the sake of doing it, and also to get over that bit of fear I still have from Ishi grabbing my face. But we'll see. We just don't have much space here and I need to balance the stress.

JdR and I are going to start working working on blocks this week. The meet is only a few weeks away and we'd hoped to have several done by then. How terribly exciting would that be!

Got the wonderful news yesterday that Mom has finally retired. It was forced on her in a way that was certainly poor, but you just can't help but feel that it was meant to be. I hope she is able to enjoy it this time... She has worked so hard for her entire life - she has *earned* this time to finally take care of herself and do the things that she *wants* to do. I just wish she could see it that way.

I cheated and pulled out the scale this morning to see where I am. Its so nice to know how well the Core plan works. After all, it's all about food that is minimally processed, whole grains, fruits, veggies...exactly the way we should be eating anyway, and exactly the way I *want* to eat. Even with the stress of exams and cheating here and there - sometimes quite a bit - I'm down three pounds. Of course, that could change by Friday, but we'll just keep working at it.

Written exam #2 today. Wish me luck...

All my love,
Petunia

It feels silly...

...to post when I really have nothing to say, but there is no doubt as to the theraputic nature of talking about nothing!

Yesterday I was terribly depressed. DH said he'd be in school "just one more semester" and of course I don't believe him. We talked about it last night, about my age and "biological clock", about living here, about work, school and money. I even told him what I've always thought but felt too selfish to ask: "When will it be *my* turn?"

He said he understood, and the things I said didn't make him upset at all - in fact he'd been going over those exact same issues himself lately. He thanked me for talking about it with him. He's so special, and I thank the gods that I have him. We'll keep working at it and I'm sure we'll get through it.

Two skills exams today which I *think* went fine. I know I missed one point on each of them, but they are not critical criteria. Hopefully I didn't miss more than that. I was terribly nervous.

I also started working on our little "yard" today. Pruned some plants, took stock of what we have, and raked. The entire space is 14' x 18' so it isn't much to take care of. I'm looking forward to really tearing into it and creating something nice. Here's what I just ordered from
seedsavers.org:

Paprika peppers
Mexican Sour Gherkins
Cornichons
Currant Tomatoes
Golden Midget Watermelons
Cream of Saskatchewan Watermelons
Blond Kopfchen cherry tomatoes.

Yes, paprika! I'm terribly excited about that one. I'll be planting the peppers and the tomatoes upside down (http://www.seedsofknowledge.com/tomato2.html) in front of the apartment. I have *no* idea if we get enough sun for the melons, but I'd might as well try. I also have a bid in for some luffa seeds - that's the most exciting thing yet.

Love to you all,
Petunia

so far all is well...

...and I'm hoping it continues this way.

I'm actually having a lovely day. My exam went fine - I'm not sure how fantastically I did, but I'm sure I passed. That's all that really matters. My first skill test went without a hitch, so that's a good feeling. Tomorrow we have two more skills, so I'm taking it rather easy today.

I'm looking forward to being done with this. The class has been thoroughly enjoyable and I think I made a prudent decision to take it. I'm hoping upon hope that I get a good job with decent pay. Fortunately, I'm quite sure I'll enjoy it. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Food today was mediocre, but again, I'm just not too worried.

Pulled apart seven or so pairs of jeans tonight in preparation for making a quilt. I'm also getting inspired to do some sewing. The idea these days is to use as much recycled material as possible. The jeans are all old ones of ours, and a few donated by a coworker who always thinks of me. I feel very fortunate. I've got a few more to collect, and then I need to start looking for high quality flannel shirts for the backside of the quilt. This is a fun project and I'm eager to start it!

All my love,
Petunia

Its a beautiful day...

...and I feel honored to be able to enjoy it.

Today its all about studying. I'm somewhat panicked over finals, but I keep reminding myself that panicking doesn't help the situation. I know I'm going to do fine, and all that matters is that I pass. Just keep studying.

DH seems to have decided that boy-cat is as much of a cutie as I think. It's really nice to see him playing with boy-cat - I was worried that he'd never accept him. I should know better - DH is as much of a softie for animals as I am.

Today's intake:

Week 1, day 3
FP: 4.5/30.5

Oatmeal with 1/2 banana, 1/2 apple, cinnamon, 1 tbsp. brown sugar (1)
Hot cocoa with light whipped cream (.5)
WW spaghetti with veggie meat sauce
...
Well, I slipped pretty good at work. But for some reason I'm just not worried about it. Maybe because I know that the next few days will be easy - after all, I'm not working, just studying - but whatever. It really doesn't matter. Tomorrow will be fantastic.

Love to you all,
Petunia

I try not to dwell...

...but I just can't comprehend the audacity of so many people. What got me this morning? Being reminded of those insane church protesters, who protest at soldier's funerals (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/soldier_s_funeral_protest). Who the hell do they think they are?! Unfortunately, I haven't read the bible, but isn't one of the big things "THOU SHALL NOT JUDGE?" or something to that effect? The God that these people believe in will do the judging - it is not their place, and directly conflicts with their belief.

Well, on to other things.

Where do things stand today:
Week 1, day 2
FP: 3/32

Oatmeal with 1/2 apple, 1/2 banana, 1 tbsp brown sugar (1)
Skim milk
2 eggs with spinach and turkey
Spaghetti with veggie meat sauce
A few too many splurges at work...

Tomorrow there's a new rule: no eating at work unless it's something I brought. That means no snacking at demo - none at all. Even if I make something for the crew. I simply don't have the willpower to do "just one bite." Tomorrow we begin Abstinance.

Tomorrow we also study like hell for finals.
Love to you all,
Petunia

Today's menu

Week 1
HW: 196/CW: 196/GW: 145
FP: 2/33

SF/FF Hot Cocoa with Light Whipped Cream (.5)
Apple
Oatmeal, 1/2 banana, 1 tbsp. brown sugar (1)
Veggie Fritatta
SF/FF Hot Cocoa with Light Whipped Cream (.5)
Cottage Cheese with Fruit
WW Spaghetti with veggie meat sauce

I did pretty well today. Cheated a little at work, but quite minimally. I'm proud.

Love to you all,
Petunia