What a day...

Our poor Yoshi was in to the vet's today for a pretty major surgery...unfortunately, the doctor wasn't able to find the bladder stone that showed so prominently on the ultrasound. We all saw the ultrasound - there was no mistaking that there was a *huge* stone. But the vet said that all she could find was remnants, as well as distinct thickening of the bladder wall. So we're still not entirely sure what's going on - hopefully she was able to scrape enough minute stones to find out what kind of stones they are. At this point, we're not sure how to treat. $2500 and not much closer to an answer. I'll be talking with the doctor more tomorrow - hopefully I won't be driving the rig so that I can actually have a decent conversation with her.

Enjoyed my day at work, however. I do like this job. My partner today was hilarious - we made a good team. So far, I've only had one partner that I didn't click with. Even then it wasn't terrible, just not great.

DH is in Stockton tonight at a conference. He seems to be really getting on the ball. Our little talk gave him a huge kick in the butt. He's started taking Zoloft and we should see an improvement from that in a few weeks. He's also continuing to go to therapy at least for a while - the doctor wanted to do some additional work with him. This has been a MUCH better experience for him than the last time he tried therapy. He's really working with it. Apparently, they gave him a little test to see how his depression rated, and he ended up being just on the borderline between Moderate and Severe. And this is while he's on an upswing! Thank god he's finally listening and doing something about it. It's helping us both out so much.

He got really serious about this conference. It's one he didn't want to attend, but his adviser sort-of volunteered him for it. I hate that man. Anyway, DH got his CV together as well as a regular resume and had copies printed to take with him. He's never done that before. He's serious this time. And he knows I am, too.

Well, I need to go to bed now. Work tomorrow at 7am! I was going to bike, but I promised JdR that I'd wash his truck (borrowed it today). Hmm. We'll see.

Love to you all,
Petunia

A day of progress.

I'm super pleased to report that DH went to his consultation appointment at the student health office. The consulting psychologist gave him a referral to a follow up appointment where he should get some medication to help with his depression. To top it off, DH went immediately to the appointment desk and set an appointment up for tomorrow.

He's taking this so well - I think that all this time he really did just need a big fat kick in the booty. He really wants to fix this, and I'm praying that our relationship will survive this. As long as he's working so hard and being honest with himself that we'll be fine. I'm so proud of him.

I've also decided not to take the woodworking II class this summer. I need to take Intro to A&P so that I'll have it done when/if I decide to pursue paramedic school, so it will be an intense 1.5 months, but at least it will e over with. No more stress, dammit.

Love to you all,
Petunia

Peace, Love and Forgiveness

Just got a call from one of my closest friends. Three weeks ago she was hit by an uninsured illegal immigrant. She had a loss of consciousness and a 12" intrusion into the drivers side of her car. She came out of it with several fractures, including her clavicle, scapula and rib, as well as some sort of spinal injury - she couldn't tell me what. Sounds like a slipped disk of some sort leading to numbness along one side of her upper body.

To top it off, her abusive grandmother is dying and her mother is completely shattered. My friend is having a hard time understanding why her mother could be so upset about it - isn't it more important that her daughter just barely made it out alive?

I spent the majority of the time just listening. It was difficult - I don't think she has any idea just how lucky she is to be whole. Accidents of that magnitude usually result in some amount of paralysis, if not loss of limb or life. On top of that, I don't think she has any compassion for what her mother is going through. I'm no psychiatrist, but from everything I have ever learned about her mother, she's definitely got some type of Stockholm-Syndrome. My friend's grandmother is a mean, abusive bitch and her daughter's behavior is completely irrational and always has been. Not to mention that my friend is more than a little spoiled...well...it's a really ugly situation.

Toward the end of the conversation, I tried to explain my theory about the Stockholm Syndrome and that seemed to help. My friend calmed down quite a bit and seemed to get something of an "ah-ha!" but who knows.

Unfortunately, the conversation ended with a comment about Bush and his drive to remove the illegal immigrants. My friend commented that she currently has no pity for illegals and wants to see them all gone, after all they're all uninsured drunks.

This blew me away. After all, who is she, a BLACK WOMAN to make such a *prejudiced* comment? She openly admitted that this belief was based on the fact that the cause of her accident was a drunk uninsured illegal immigrant. That one experience has allowed her to judge an entire group.

Never mind that I live in an apartment complex full of illegals who are the most wonderful, caring, family oriented people I have ever met. The bad apples in the complex are my neighbors. Who happen to be white. (They're not that bad - they just get a little rowdy and their fights can be scary)

I wish I could fix the world. But hell, I don't even know that I'm right.

Love to you all,
Petunia

A fresh perspective.

Now that DH is fully aware of my position and has agreed to what I've said, I feel so much freer...like the world is lifted off my shoulders. There's no telling what will happen over the next six months, but for the life of me I'm praying that it is the beautiful, positive outcome I hope for. Nay, not hope for - I *expect*.

The last two weeks I gave the Atkins diet a try. I did well - I lost a few pounds and was never hungry. I had plenty of energy and didn't experience the "Atkins Flu" that folks talk about.

But I got *so* bored. UGH.

So I'm going to take a whole new, fresh approach to food and eating. What Atkins showed me was that I *do* have willpower. I can say "NO" and mean it. It also showed me something plain as day..."low-fat" is a crock of poopie.

My focus now is to have a healthy, rounded view of eating. I'm going to eat full fat (unless I truly prefer the low or lower fat versions) but I'm going to keep the proportions in check. There's no denying that full fat is simply more satisfying. I'm going to add tremendous amounts of fruits and veggies to EVERY meal. Dessert will be fruit. Taste will be paramount. And exercise will be the determining factor.

I'm eager to see where this leads me. I'm going to keep track of everything and watch it all very closely. The trick will be not obsessing - that is forever my downfall. But if you think about it, it just doesn't make sense. By obsessing, and cutting this out and compromising taste for satisfaction, well, it just doesn't work.

Let's see what happens. We've forgotten to "Savor and Saunter" and we need to get that back, and this time make it REAL.

Love to you all,
Petunia

Lilly laid eggs!

Lilly laid her first clutch of eggs! One seems to be fertile, the other one does not. I'm going to keep the one that I suspect is infertile in the container, though, just in case. In about a week I should know for sure.

How exciting! And it looks like she's got two more developing already. Supposedly, we should see two more eggs in 2-3 weeks. Whoohoo!

Love to you all!
Petunia

Oh gosh...

...I sure haven't done a good job at keeping up with this, have I? Well, I'll work on that.

Things are moving along in my world. I'm in love with my new job and finally feel like I am doing something beneficial, something that *means* something.

What's interesting, though, is seeing the complete lack of psychology education in my co-workers. You would think that folks in this field would have an interest in knowing how the brain works, how people think. But no one is taught that, and empathy is so often confused with pity. That's the only thing that is frustrating to me. But if I become an FTO, maybe I can help with that to some degree when training folks. Well, at least *I* know, and that's really all that matters.

We've had absolutely stunning weather. My plants are growing by leaps and bounds. The lettuce is harvestable now, and I've got violas planted between each clump which is pretty as well as tasty. The peas have finally decided to come up, and the herbs are taking off. I built my box up front and have several onion tops growing among some miniature roses and violas. My seedlings are doing fairly well, but I think that a heating mat would give me much greater success with them. I lost three luffas when the rain hit, so I've got several more sprouted.

Just got a note from the workers comp folks saying that I am responsible for paying for several visits. That's my job today - tell yell my head off at them. That's been unbelievable, and there is no way I'm paying for it.

Love to you all,
Petunia