Paramedic? Nurse? Farmer? Designer?

I'm at a terrible loss right now. I don't know what to do, where to go, or what direction to even face.

I *want* to be a paramedic. I *want* to be a mom. I *want* to have a farm. I *want* to start up Huntergrrl.

I *need* to become a nurse.

Jason's still not done with school. He says he'll need the summer to finish.

At this point, I doubt he'll ever be done, or at least in any remotely near time-frame. I'm afraid it's going to be up to me. And the only way I can reliably pay the bills is to become a nurse.

I have NO desire to do it. Nursing doesn't appeal to me even a little bit. But it's a secure work option, there's decent money in it, I won't have to work long hard hours, and my body won't get torn up by it.

Paramedics don't make enough money to support us. Plus, there are way too many of them out there, and it destroys your back.

Because Jason still isn't making a living, I can't be a farmer or a designer. Not until we have an income. And the baby just isn't happening.

Two years to get an RN. I can lateral to medic if I want to, then work as a medic for a while, while keeping my nursing credential.

I really don't want to do this. But maybe its time to start being practical.

Love to you all,
Petunia

"Ambulance drivers..."

"...are always the nicest people!"

Overheard after dropping our patient with heart-attack symptoms off at the hospital.

That's why I love my job. Even though calling us "Ambulance Drivers" is considered downright insulting.

Exciting night two nights ago. Levels were all the way down to zero - the county was simply blowing up with emergencies. Our unit (which is a BLS unit) was held over 2 1/2 hours with two code-3 calls, one for the aforementioned chest pain, the second for a burn victim of an apartment fire. There wasn't much I could do for the chest pain patient - our supervisor jumped in our unit and took over the call. I simply followed in his sup vehicle (which is fun in and of itself). The burn victim was mine - fairly minor 1st and 2nd degree burns, but I got to do some cleaning, bandaging and assessing. We took her to the helicopter landing zone and got her loaded. That was wild...

Many times we really are just a taxi to the hospital. When those calls come up where you make a difference, well, that just feels fantastic.

Love to you all,
Petunia